Fighting the Battles Within

I’ve battled through a lot in my life, but today, I want to pull back the curtain and talk about the inner battles,  the ones fought in silence, without applause, without understanding looks from others. The ones that no one sees.

Over the past few months, I have been quietly wrestling through massive health scares, a creeping depression I couldn’t shake, body image issues that distorted the way I saw myself, financial storms from medical bills, and the pain of family relationships falling apart.

These were not small bumps in the road, they were battles. Huge, gut-wrenching, soul-pressing battles. Every day felt like a series of moment-by-moment decisions between despair and hope, faith and fear, paralysis and perseverance,  physically, emotionally, and mentally.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THERE?

If you’ve followed my journey, you might remember my last blog where I said: “One situation can shift everything.”

One diagnosis. One phone call. One closed door.

Suddenly, we find ourselves in the valley, a place that smells like failure, tastes like disappointment, and echoes with the sting of loss.

But what if the valley isn’t just a place of pain?

What if the valley is a holy place, a place of pruning, pressing, and preparing?

A place where brokenness births bravery.

A place where you find your will, your way, and your warrior spirit.

That’s where I found myself.

Here I am, Fit2Heal, the fitness coach, the encourager, the motivator, secretly fighting the biggest battle of my life.

And honestly, it left me questioning God.

I work out. I eat right. I try to steward my body, my mind, and my spirit…so how did I end up here

And I hear God’s whisper:

“Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.”

(2 Chronicles 20:15)

A wounded heart will always tempt you to second guess God’s plan.

It will whisper lies: “Maybe you’re not called. Maybe you’re not strong enough. Maybe you missed it.”

But here’s what I’ve learned, and am still learning: In order to act powerfully, you must feel safe.

And sometimes the only true safety comes when you stop running to people and start resting in God.

I had to ask myself some hard questions:

• Who is my safety net?

• Who can hold me when life is heavy?

• And what if the arms I’m looking for aren’t human arms at all?

As much as we crave human support, there are battles designed for you and God alone.

Fighting the battle while encouraging others was hard.

Fighting the battle while staying silent was harder.

Fighting the battle while trying to trust God was the hardest.

I realized I wasn’t just facing problems, I was carrying them.

I was holding them tighter than my faith.

Instead of casting my cares, I was collecting them like trophies.

Growing up, my mom used to say, “Tough times make tough people.”

But now I know it’s deeper than that.

Tough times don’t just make you tough,  fighting your inner battles wakes up your superpower.

It activates the warrior within you that the enemy tried to bury under shame, sickness, and fear.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him.”

(James 1:12)Today, I may still be walking through the valley.

But I walk it differently.

Head high.

Faith fierce.

Heart healed, even while healing.

Because the battle isn’t mine.

It’s God’s.

And He’s never lost a battle yet. 

Together we are Fit2heal!